June 29, 2026 | Be Connected
LAST WEEK BEFORE SUMMER HIATUS:
BE CONNECTED RESUMES AUGUST 3
Christian Parenting
Scripture: Ephesians 6:1-4(NIV)
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Devotional
Parenting is arguably the most difficult but rewarding job we can take on. In Ephesians 6:4, Paul gives us some great parenting advice.
“Fathers (parents) do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.”
The word “exasperate” here is the Greek word parargizo meaning “anger.” Paul uses a similar but different word in Colossians when he’s communicating the same idea.
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)
Here, Paul uses the word erethizo, which means “provoke” or “irritate”. In essence, Paul is saying that we need to be careful how we parent, that we shouldn’t be so harsh that we crush the spirit of our children, making them angry or irritated. Instead, we should be raising them with love and respect. But that also doesn’t mean that we are so lax that our children have no direction.
There’s a story about a father trying to teach his son to make his bed. Each time the boy would forget, the father would give him a long, stern lecture about the importance of responsibility. The third day came and the boy still forgot, but now he could perfectly imitate his father’s speech. That’s when the father realized he was not teaching responsibility but creating discouragement - anger and irritation - for his son. So, he tried again by helping his son make his bed and encouraging him along the way. Ephesians 6:4 is a reminder that guidance bolstered by love builds children up in a much more Christ-like way than constant correction, badgering and reprimand.
As parents, we should beware of disciplining out of frustration and anger. Those emotions should never be cause for correction as the result could be frightening for the children. Our goal should not be for our kids to fear us. Fathers in Paul’s day exhibited authoritarianism and unreasonable expectations. But Paul argues for restraint so that harshness does not incite anger and resentment. Rules and expectations should not be so severe (think “tough love”) that it becomes difficult for the child to obey. And punishment should always fit the infraction and be age appropriate.
Our goal as parents should be to always act with love and encouragement. Praise children and let them know you are proud of them. Christian parents should teach their children to know the Lord and bring them up with Christian character. If we “bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord” they will have a firm foundation as they mature into adults that love Jesus “and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)
